Let’s Give This Bug A Name

I know blokes are famed for overdramatising minor ailments — as in this hilarious sketch — but honestly, this one does NOT feel minor. It knocked out my voice for three days and caused me to cough in a production of the Mousetrap just as the murderer was being revealed. Symptoms are streaming cold, sore throat, chest-racking spluttering cough, barking at night, etc etc. On the balcony for the final of Strictly, I kept having to peel away to sneeze and blow my nose, by now a livid red.

Now okay, if I had smoked thirty woodbines a day for the last twenty years you might say I had it coming. But I have done four years’ cycling and three months’ dancing and I feel this virus is more than I deserve. I want to know if you have suffered the same bronchial carnage and if so I want us to get together, bond, and beg the medical authorities to start giving these seasonal bugs a name, in the same way that the Met Office has started giving storms names like Desmond and Miranda. Watch my video to find out why and see me suffer.

WARNING: GRAPHIC SPLUTTERING

A few days earlier I videoed myself with no voice. I wish I knew a way of restoring a lost voice immediately (please don’t say honey). It only happens to me once every three years or so, and then only for a couple of days. But sometimes you really need to be able to speak. A doctor told me opera singers on an opening night will take steroids — used on car crash victims to rapidly reduce swelling, especially on the brain — and that will get the vocal chords moving again. But of course they swell for a reason, to resist infection, and working against the body’s natural defences may be a bad idea.


Oh dear. When I told the Radio 2 doctor Sarah Jarvis that “blokes tend to be over-dramatic” about their ailments, and described mine as “man flu,” the BBC received an official complaint under its Equality and Diversity Code that my comments had discriminated against men.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3370333/BBC-presenter-Jeremy-Vine-reported-Corporation-s-equality-diversity-code-said-MAN-FLU-air.html

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/jeremy-vine-reported-to-bbc-for-equality-breach-after-saying-he-had-man-flu-a6783756.html

But luckily …

http://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/dec/22/jeremy-vine-man-flu-bbc-radio-2-strictly-come-dancing

 

 

Jeremy Vine official website

 

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